Tuesday, May 8, 2007
GREAT ADVICE
Don't make your husband a project! Making your husband your project says to him that he's not good enough as he is. It makes him feel mothered, managed, and demeaned. I was sharing my "admonishments" to Women and my husband actually said if a man feels like a project, not only will he not ask for your input, but he also won't receive it. The bottom line I get from this is: If you want a project, take up knitting! My great advice would be to have a servanthood attitude instead of making him a project-- ooops or is that a stranger in your home? If it is, reintroduce it. Oh, I'm thinking of one other for wives. Embrace the power of appreciation!
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5 comments:
Still trying to swallow this morsel of truth, but if I "chew" on it long enough I will be able to get it down! Thanks coach!
You are so right though and even though it is so hard to do with those alien beings we call husbands, we must. I believe Phil 4:18 applies here very well. Instead of thinking on all the things he isn't doing right, pick out the things he is doing right (even if the fact that he is still breathing and hasn't left you a widow is all you can think of :) ) and think on those things! Make a list if you have to when you feel good about him so you can go to it for things to think about when you don't feel so great about him.
Face it girls, we aren't so hot ourselves sometimes so a little mercy in times of manly insanity is needed. You will need mercy too the next time you have a "princess fit" (as Carol calls them).
Also, just so y'all will know---my husband is great! He has stuck by me even when I did everything I could to make him leave and our God is good because everyday our relationship is healed a little more! What God has done for me, He will do for you as well because He is no respector of persons---we are all His children in Christ!
Love and Prayers...
Cheryl because Adam listened to his wife, his focus is going to be work his entire life. .....tilling the ground.....I love what you said about making a list of appreciations that your husband does and bring it out from time to time. Here's a down to earth example: A man comes home and says to his wife, "I had a horrible day at work today." She says, "Tell me about it." "I just did," he replies. I believe it's necessary to speak our husband's language! Male! It sounds like you are cultivating a sense of humor about your male and female differences. Respond practively to what your husband shares - promoting more sharing! At one time I valued being a stay-home-Mom and believe you me (I know you do) I spent not only a super time following the discipline rules we made together (to be fair) but in the spare time found positive ways to be an encourager instead of a discourager because I knew he had been out ...."tilling the ground" and being the Provider for what I would set my heart to do. I want to reiterate what "Princess Fits" are.......griping to the point where you blame him, blame him, blame him and take absolutely NO responsibility for our issues as the wife..
I'm thrilled to respond to your comment because I know there is a huge amount of love in you to want to see your husband a happy camper. (That's where the dogs, cats, kids, birds, Wife and whatever else that is living in the home (I know a family that collects snakes) crawls up on his lap when he comes home and says WE'RE SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE, DAD!!!!!!! THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO!!!!!! Bottom Line: Framing your "painting" with grace and love causes its value to increase.
Alright you two, have you been spying on me? It seems that when my husband needs my prayers and encouragement the most is when I DON'T feel like praying or encouraging him. When I first read "The power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian a few years ago, I was shocked where one of the things to pray about him was to pray for his WIFE. That would be me. Needless to say I was shocked,almost angry (I wasn't the problem) but thanks for the reminder (how quickly we forget)Cheryl it was wonderful to get to meet you and put a face with the name. You're testimony was like a breath of fresh air much needed.
You know, this is just sooo true. I try to remember some of the things we learned in the Marriage Enrichment classes taught by your wonderful husband and my favorite pastor :0) My focus has to be pleasing my husband and his focus has to be pleasing me. As soon as I start looking at what I’m not getting or what I want, etc. is when the trouble starts! I can’t look at what he said or didn’t do because I’m looking at it from the viewpoint of what I wanted him to do or say. Once I get my focus back on pleasing him, everything else just falls into place. It keeps me from becoming selfish and only being interested in my needs. It’s hard sometimes to remember that though. In times when I have strayed, I try to just keep the old mouth shut!! After focusing my energy on NOT talking, I eventually see where I was the one that was wrong. (ugh sometimes that’s hard to admit!)
Hugs & Prayers,
Geneva
Thanks Geneva. In view of all the mercies of God, you are making a decisive decision to be holy devoted and consecrated which is well pleasing to God and also to your husband as well. (Who is all the while effectually at work in you - energizing and creating in you the power and desire to honor your husband - both to will and work for His good pleasure and delight.) I do appreciate your taking the time to comment.
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